<--5:48 PM October 21, 2004-->
There Once was A Girl named Deja and No matter how hard I tried I could never save her....
I have been having the worst case of avoidance I ever had.
I've managed to cut myself off from the world lately.
I hide in the seclusion of my apartment and literally take a vow of silence.
No talking, No Noise, Nothing just me with my thoughts.
Me with my tears...........
A million scattered Ideas running ferociously thru my mind like a hamster on a wheel.
Can't sleep, Can't eat, Can't write, Can't even think clearly.
This has to stop something has to give In before I give up....
I am so lonely and unhappy that I have become the very thing I despise the most.
I am falling back to my old ways and believe me it isn't pretty.
I just wish I knew how to stop hurting myself and the people who Love me.
So if you've called me or left me voice mails, notes or emails I apologize its not you it's me.
I love you but this is more than I can handle right now.............................