HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME!!!!!
I couldn't believe what the cops were saying, Steven's not dead its not Steven.
Why would he kill himself?
Why on our wedding day?
This is all a mistake a bad dream I kept saying over and over again.
I ran upstairs in my room and slammed and locked the door.
I must have been in shock in denial what ever the dr's called it.
because I got ready for my Wedding,I did my hair and make up put my dress on and sat there in my room Waiting for Steven to come walking thru the door and say lets go to the church.
I'll just sit here and wait for him he'll show up maybe late I thought ,His parents were banging down my door .YELLING DEJA PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR HONEY PLEASE.
I couldn't move I was frozen I couldn't let them in they will just tell me more lies,Steven's not dead he would never leave me,I KEPT SAYING THAT OVER AND OVER ,HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME..
I dont know what time it was but I stayed in that room for 3 days laying in my wedding gown .waiting for the only thing worth living for in my life.
HE NEVER SHOWED UP.
I opened my door after 3 days of no food and water and ran to the bathroom to PURGE AND PURGE.Just the thought of a life without Steven made me sick.It was right then and there my old friends ANA and MIA would come back and help me deal with this.
Wasn't that nice of them they would help me self destruct in a downward spiral that would last 5 hellish years of torture to myself and anyone who got close to me .I was a one woman wrecking ball I had starved my self to a 78lbs corpse I was the walking dead .
For me I wasnt ANA & MIA to be skinny it was the only way I could feel anything Steven's Death left me boken and empty inside. I could feel nothing.
I was so hurt and angry it just never occured to me I might feel better if I just EAT... I AM A CAT IN AN ARMORED SUIT MINUS -1 LIFE All work copywrited 2003 T.M. (unless otherwise stated). Do not take anything without prior permission of the author.